May 20, 2022
In this Step Closer bonus episode I break down for you what it takes to heal from complex trauma. I introduce you to the All Access Pass to the 5 Circuits of Healing Power, a program I developed as the basis and context for my own recovery from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect. I created this bonus content to inspire you and invite you to step closer to me as a guide and fellow human in recovery, and the community of incredible humans a fellow survivors who have assembled in the Relational Healing Lab.
This episode is for you if you are new to healing and want to learn more about complex trauma recovery, how I developed the 5 Circuits of Healing Power, and how they might create the ideal context for your CPTSD recovery. Registration for the 2023 cohort opens soon–details to come.
There are 21 incredible humans in the 2022 All Access Pass. We’re currently approaching the halfway point of the program year as we wrap up the In Your Depth healing container in Circuit 3: Coming Out of Hiding. Next, we will move into a five-day live intensive which covers harnessing the Self-Energetic capacity of Courage. I feel passionately about these circuits, these containers, and these humans, and I want to share it all with you. They have changed my life, and I’m confident this program can change yours as well.
Is this program for me? I get this question a lot. The 5 Circuits of Healing Power is for you if you’ve been facing some pretty significant, pervasive, and unshifting struggles with your mental health and relationships. It’s for you if you cannot seem to find any help that actually…well, helps. It is also for you if you’re ready to invest in a research-based, comprehensive trauma healing experience, one that feels intimate and connected.
At its core, recovery from CPTSD requires you to live in your personal power. I will teach you how to step out of circumstantial power and flourish in a life fueled by personal power. It’s so foundational, in fact, it’s one of the very first things I cover in Circuit 1. When you can tap into your personal power consistently, even when triggered or in less-than-ideal situations and relationships, the whole world opens up to you. The 2023 All Access Pass could be your first step towards this profound transformation.
Enjoy this bonus content, then reach out and let’s start a conversation about your healing journey and the role the 2023 All Access Pass can play.
Tanner
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Episode transcript:
Tanner Wallace 0:03
Hello, and welcome to the very first Step Closer episode, I
intentionally chose the language "step closer" as a personal
invitation, where I see you in your own personal power. And I'm
inviting you to make a desire based decision to step closer to me
learn more about how to work with me learn more about the healing
containers and experiences in the relational healing lab. Because
you are curious, because you are intrigued. And because you think
there might be something more for you, on the other side of a paid
experience in the relational healing lab. These are unique in that
they are somewhat like shop with me infomercials in a way. And I'm
going to be totally confident and unapologetic about that. Because
I've learned in my own journey. As an entrepreneur, as a coach,
that the best way to sell is to make it an extension of the way you
communicate with your audience seamlessly, organically and
effortlessly. And what I want to share with you in this Step
Closer, is an edited excerpt from me talking about the 5 Circuits
of Healing Power in The Gathering, the collective initiation into
the 5 Circuits of Healing Power, the Facebook group, the free
Facebook group that's happening now, we'll open back up July 1, I
shared with them how and why I created the circuits, and what they
truly mean to me as a guide. It's a very intimate portrayal of the
five circuits and why I created them and how I feel about them. In
the trauma recovery universe. I wanted to share this with you as a
starting point. To begin a conversation with you about what would
it look like if you decided that 2023 is your year of healing, to
walk with me through the 5 Circuits of Healing Power, walk with a
set of survivors in a collective for 12 months to gather up this
mountain of recovery? So let's start with the circuits. And what
will be coming next is a release of the 2023 All Access Pass
investment guide, the payment plan details, the terms and
conditions of joining these containers? How do you set yourself up
to know if this is the right decision for you, and give yourself
and those you love time to make this kind of commitment to meet for
you, for me for us. So with that, I will launch this excerpt of me
talking about the five circuits of healing power in the gathering,
and invite you in to a conversation about how you might step closer
to me. And you're healing and 2023 through the all access pass to
the five circuits of healing power. I'll see you on the other
side.
Tanner Wallace 3:09
I am really eager to talk to you about these 5 Circuits of Healing
Power, something that I created out of a desire to make something
exist that did not exist when I first learned about complex trauma,
and wanted to heal. When I learned about complex trauma. I read
Pete Walker's book that was so validating because for the first
time in my entire life, I was faced with someone who was speaking a
truth speaking a lived experience writing about it that resonated
so deeply with my own experience. And what was so profound about my
reading of Pete Walker's book is is it there's the kind of almost a
line in my life pre reading Pete Walker's book surviving to
thriving to post reading Pete Walker's book before Pete Walker's
book and I me reading about complex trauma from his perspective, I
would have said, I did not have a great adolescence. I did not have
a great childhood. You know, I my mom has some mental health issues
my dad is was very checked out. My dad's death was very sudden it
was very upsetting. And I have struggled with my mental health, and
I'm not good in relationships. And I largely would have framed it
in with a medical model and what a lot of mainstream relationship
parenting frameworks would have provided me what learning about
complex trauma did for me was that it gave me a very concrete way
of thinking about the consequences of not having a great childhood
and not having a great adolescence and why I struggled with my
mental health. That it wasn't like Oh, I have a flawed in some ways
I'm broken in some ways, you know that it's all me and I'm damaged.
It's no like, I was raised in a traumatizing environment. And there
are developmental consequences to that, including how my brain
developed. From there, I read the Body Keeps the Score, and then I
had even more detailed knowledge. And so I was like, Okay, this is
it. I'm, I have complex trauma, I'm ready to heal. How do I do
it?
Tanner Wallace 5:36
Nothing. So, I was like, I'll pay any amount, I will do whatever it
takes to tell me what I need to do to heal. Nothing fucking
nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Something here, something there
and Instagram post here, a trauma recovery group there. And, you
know, this is this is all dropped in, right. So like my experience
of this, all of it lands squarely in my existing life with my
existing life at the time, was a professor of human and development
in a school of education, having studied learning, growth and
development for like two decades. So I knew from a professional
standpoint, here's what it takes for any human to learn a
complicated process, to grow into something, you know, to develop
positively to learn a new skill, I was so deeply immersed in
literature and writing about this is how you promote
transformation, mostly in the classroom. But also I'd studied
coaches, and I'd studied, you know, youth services. So I was I was
deep into the motivation literature, the development literature,
and how we do this. So when I turned to be like, okay, recovered
from complex trauma, I'm ready. And I found that no one, no one had
created a context, a container, a lived experience, where that
level of transformation was possible. Blew my mind. Because I was
like, Well, how are we supposed to do this, then? Because even if I
sign up for a course, even if I read a book, even if I get a
therapist, I know in my heart of hearts, that you can't engage in
this level of transformation. I mean, we're talking about re
parenting, redoing developmental milestones reprogramming our
brain, recreating a relational ecosystem. reparative relationships.
I mean, we Pete Walker was talking about big fucking shit in that
book, The Body Keeps the Score, I just start and stop that book,
like 18 times, because it's just the tone of it. I was like, you're
talking about things in this voice. And this tone, like, this is my
lived experience. And like, I don't know, I know, you're an expert,
and I'm sure he might be a good person. But the way you're talking
about this is scaring the fuck out of me right now. Because this is
my life.
Tanner Wallace 8:12
I am part of your research study. This is my life, and how am I
going to do this? So like, I was getting information about what it
was and the depth of the consequences, but no one was showing me
the container that I knew needed to exist to do the level of
transformational work that I could see written on the pages of Pete
Walker's book of the Body Keeps the Score, I saw what they were
saying. I believed it. And I knew what it would take to fix that,
to get through that. And so I was like, okay, survivor mentality,
white knuckle it pull yourself up. I'm going to do this. So I
slowly started piecing together things that I saw, okay, so it's
about re parenting. Alright, what can I find out about inner child
healing? Okay, so it's about this. Okay. So it's about rage. It's
about, you know, you know, about the pause it's about self care is
about self love. It's about self concept. It's about shame release.
It's about truth telling. It's about, you know, things that the
interaction of facts, all these things, I started pulling them
together, and just trying the best I could to create my own
curriculum, my own context for doing this work. And in doing so, I
started to see that there was a sequence of how things needed to
happen, because I would do something. And like a good educator, I'd
be like, well, I should have done that thing first. That would have
been a lot helpful if I'd done that first. Or oh, I'm seeing a
connection between this like if I had had this skill before I did
this, that would have been more helpful. I'm seeing that my lived
reality that the place I'm trying to do this is learning is not
conducive to it? How do I context craft this. And so I started
piecing together things. And at first, to be completely honest, I
thought, This is what I'm just doing to be a guide. This is what
I'm doing to heal myself to be able to show up and offer other
people healing in a more discreet way. I never in a million years
thought that I would have created 5 Circuits of Healing Power, I
was just like, This is what I need to do to heal, so I can help
other people. And at first, the help other people was very limited
to people that were experiencing relationship. Crisis, basically,
this is how I'll help people in relationship crisis, who are
married with kids like I was, who are facing complex trauma, to
make wise decisions about their parenting and their partnering. So
when I did Reveal 2022, and some people in The Gathering were in
the original Reveal, sorry, not 2020 2021, Reveal 2021. That
original program was very zoomed into interaction effects. It's
what I know best, I studied them. It's where I started my journey,
how do I map out the interaction effects that I'm seeing in my
relationships, learn from them, so that I can show up and start
doing better in my relationships? What I learned and reveal, which
also paralleled my personal healing journey, is that protective
parts and survival codes are no fucking joke. That to do that
interaction tracking, to start showing up in our life, to start
influencing our relationships, rebuilding our relationships,
there's about six months of work that needs to happen before you're
ready, as a survivor, to start looking at your trauma ecosystem,
and figuring out how to rebuild that ecosystem in a way centered
and health and well being.
Tanner Wallace 12:13
So I was like, huh, that needs to come much later in his scope and
sequence of experiences. And but I loved guiding. And that was
incredible. I want to do that again. So at first the idea was okay,
so it's reveal 2022. And it's gonna be like a whole year of reveal,
because we're going to do the whole thing. And then I realized this
fall that, no, there's all these different contexts that you need
to create, to emphasize certain aspects of healing, that are really
important to parts of you. And that every part of you, the
protective parts, the wounded parts, the true self, that you're
trying to tap into, deserve different context, to create different
immersive, imagination fueled experiences, worlds within worlds,
for you to slip into, to do this really profound, transformative
work. So when I let my imagination run wild, and I started just to
create from this creative spot, what would this look like? How
could we make this almost exciting for survivors? Because the work
is so hard, it's so challenging, but how can we keep ourselves
motivated, excited, and feeling like we're moving through
something? It's not this big, overwhelming thing that we just can't
see out of? But it's like, no, let's just do this scope and
sequence, we'll move through every month through something. And at
the end, sometimes we'll circle back through if you have to go back
through and do and the we'll call them circuits at I think Nelliane
St. Clair, a conscious language coach who tapped into my creativity
and helped me come up with his name circuits. Because a circuit is
a really intentionally chosen word that is about activities,
quests, challenges, movement, doing being, it's not a passive
receipt of knowledge, like a course. And it's not just like a
group, where you interact about, you know, kind of casual things
are a topic and then you don't see each other till the next group.
A circuit is about training. It's about mastery. It's about skill
development. It's about I did it. I made it through the challenge.
And I came out the other side, stronger, more resilient, more
efficacious, more skilled. And now with the muscles I've developed,
the capacities I've developed in this circuit, I'm ready for the
next circuit. I thought it was this beautiful language that moves
us. I mean, I love the warrior language, I feel that like in my I
do my own recovery work, I chant I have mantras about being a
warrior of a recovery warrior, CPTSD warrior. And I recognize that
some of that language taps in a little too much for my comfort into
the kind of toxic masculine, aggressive must energy. That isn't
what recovery is about, you know, recoveries about this beautiful
rebalancing, and restoration of our internal worlds to have this
beautifully balanced, feminine and masculine energy, empowered,
feminine energy and empowered masculine energy, very balanced, we
can show up and soft leadership, and we can receive and nurture as
well. So the warrior language, always I want to use it, but I'll
always like step away from it sometimes because it has a little bit
too much of that edge to it to sit totally comfortably for me
publicly. But the circuit language felt so aligned with, we're
walking up this mountain together, it's hard, it's challenging.
It's not easy, the ascent is difficult, and at times, it is really
challenging. So circuits are a way of noting our progress in the
ascent to the top. Getting to the other side, while not taking on
that kind of sorry, I have here my mouth or your language. So
there's circuits. And this is really what I wanted to share in this
module. But that language is very intentional. That in part, what
you're doing in a recovery journey, is creating experiences that
take you to your edge, and help you push beyond that edge to the
next level up. If we're only staying in some very comfortable
space, some like because we can be comfortable, because it's
familiar, even if we're experiencing emotional distress.
Tanner Wallace 17:14
So sometimes parts of us will be like, well, this doesn't feel
good, but it's comfortable. And I'll choose comfort over a new kind
of discomfort, which requires more trust, more uncertainty, more
faith, more kind of stretching myself mentally, emotionally,
psychologically, spiritually, sexually, all the ways,
intentionally, in the Relational Healing Lab, we create through
this circuits, these really safe, strong experiences where we can
stretch to our edge, kind of get comfortable, more comfortable with
being uncomfortable at our edge. And then when the timing is right,
we push through to the next level up. And then we experienced the
next level up the next level up. And the next level up. There's
this beautiful place where we can find that exact place of positive
pressure, where it's not too much where we're feeling complete
system overload. But it's enough to keep us showing up with
accountability and honesty, about the depth of the transformation
that's needed. So in the relational healing lab, and with the
circuits, it's a little bit different than what you might have
experienced in other trauma recovery spaces. It really is meant to
be a physical, emotional workout, challenge, skill building, you
should feel exhausted at times. Oh, like just stretched at times,
expanded at times, you know, just wow. Like this is not the same.
This is not business as usual. This is asking a lot of me I'm keep
having to recalibrate to this. The standard is high. And I desire
it. I'm not being pushed into this. I'm not being pulled into this.
It's a continual, open hearted desire based step forward to be
like, yes, I want this. Yes, I want this. Yes, I want this. And
we're in community with each other. Doing this work together, all
really focused on moving through the circuits.
Tanner Wallace 19:53
And when everyone is focused on the same task, the same forward
movement In a beautiful, energetic force gets created through the
shared focus groups are so powerful when you're all working towards
the same thing. So that when you have a day where you're like, I
need to sit down, this is too much. someone's like, I feel good.
I'm good. I'm healing wounds. I get it. I'm understanding what
Tanner's saying, I just mastered this, I got you. We got you. We're
doing this. And then when that person's like, oh, my gosh, this is
too hard. I need to sit down. What are we doing? I'm overwhelmed. I
can't do this. I'm broken. So you sit down and other persons like,
actually, I'm feeling good. Again. I gotcha. And then sometimes we
all sit down. And we just say, You know what, it's a collective
break, breathe. We're all sitting down. Let's look at the view. We
haven't looked at the view in a while. We, you know, when you're
doing that hike, or that challenge, and sometimes your heart's
beating so fast, you can't talk. And you're like, I gotta stay
focused. Because if I don't stay focused and keep moving forward,
I'm not going to, I'm going to if I sit down, get back up. So
there's moments where we're all just like, okay, yes, yes. Yeah,
you're beside me. Okay, good. But we're focused, we're focused. And
then someone could be like, Can we sit down for a little bit? And
everyone's like, Yeah, let's sit down for a little bit. It's been,
it's been a haul the past hour or two, everyone sit down. And then
someone's like, oh, my gosh, have you seen the view from here, we
haven't looked at the view. And then all of a sudden, we're taking
selfies and sending them to each other and sending each other
memes, and laughing and joking. And then sometimes this beautiful
thing happens, where one of our fellow survivors, like, I love you
all, and have a little side quest to do my own world. There's, my
family needs me right now. Or I need me right now. And I've got to
explore this thing. And we're like, we love you, tell us what it's
like, come back safe. And then they go off into this world that we
will never see. Because it's their own world, internal or external.
They do a side quest. And then they show back up in a container.
And they're like, Hi, I'm back.
Tanner Wallace 22:05
Let me tell you about what I learned. And then they'll tell us this
beautiful tale about where they've been. And what they've learned,
and we get to learn from it is this beautiful thing, we may never
have that experience, never, ever have to do the things that they
had to do. But when they tell us about it, our heart gets full, our
mind and brain expand, we get wiser, we see humanity in a different
way. And then sure enough, maybe in six months, a year from now,
someone will come into our world. And they'll be like, I am so
struggling with this. And you'll say, I know a person to connect to
with this beautiful human I met in a relational healing lab,
they're going to understand what you're going through, can I
connect you to this human, and those two humans will talk about the
side quest and what it meant for them, and how to do it. And we
just keep building the ranks in our community, to know how to
ascent this mountain to get to the other side, and hold each other
in this space. And in this space, we're all focused on the same
thing. It really truly is, for me, for you, for us, survivor, to
survivor, shoulder to shoulder because no expert, no clinician, no
author, no coach, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody is going to care
more about recovery about the other side than us on the mountain,
walking together, wanting it so desperately for ourselves, for
those we love for every thing that it means for us to arrive at the
top, plant that flag and be like, I did it. I was the chosen one. I
have no idea why I have no idea how this happened. But when someone
looked at me and said, Hey, you have an opportunity. Do you want to
break a cycle? And I said, Yeah, how do you do it? They said, Hey,
come here. It's called the relational healing lab. They'll show you
how to do it. I looked at them and I said, sure. I'll walk with
you. And I just kept walking. And before I knew it, I was a fourth
of the way up a mountain. Before I knew it. I was halfway up before
I knew as three fourths of the way up and before I knew it, I was
planning a flag. And at some point in some future date, it some
gathering on the other side. Someone's going to say, hey, who among
us is a cycle breaker? And I'm gonna look that person in the eye.
I'm gonna raise my hands. And I'm gonna look around the room and
I'm going to see a whole set have people that raise their hand. And
I'm going to know, at the deepest, deepest level of knowing how
hard though, because it is so hard. And no one, no one is going to
understand that. But no one, people can write about it, people can
talk about it, but no one is going to understand that. Like, you
just understood that when I started crying, because you knew what
it meant, and you knew where those tears came from, and how deep
the hurt runs, for them to come so quickly when I talk about
it.
Tanner Wallace 25:47
So do that level of holding each other in safe, strong containers.
There has to be a plan, because it's some intense work. So our plan
is the circuits. And they're good plans, and they get revised, and
they'll get rebuilt as we learn as we grow as we build this theory
of what is it actually take. So this is my best guess. And even as
we do the 2022, all access pass, we're revising circuit three,
right? So I just introduced a new thing into it, because I was
like, alright, circuit three coming out of hiding, we need a little
more work around the courage, everyone, I'm sensing the courage is
a little bit, not where it needs to be to come out of hiding. So
we're going to amp that up a little bit for everybody. Tap into
that self energetic capacity of courage, but we're good, we're
good. And then in 2023, when we move through those circuits, again,
we're going to learn from this new set of survivors and learn to
share the knowledge with each other, like, hey, we learned this new
thing about circuit to anyone curious about it, we're going to
share it with you. This is about creating a collective set of
experiences of knowledge of how do we build this? How do we create
this for ourselves in healing containers? And how do we share this
knowledge with people around the world? That's the context for the
circuits. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did.
That was such a meaningful experience for me to be able to share
what was all my heart and mind about the 5 Circuits of Healing
Power. Like I said in the intro, if you're starting to feel your
desire build around, could this be for me? Is this my year to
declare that I am worth healing, I am worth this level of
commitment. I desire to stop feeling like I'm missing out on the
prime years of my life, that doors are starting to close. I desire
joy in my recovery, I desire a set of fellow companions on this
journey. If this is starting to land with you, then keep showing up
here. Follow me on Instagram at Dr. Tanner Wallace. So that you
will be the first to learn of when I drop the investment guide,
which will give all the details of the payment plans for those of
you that start a payment plan in June. I'm preparing something very
special to reward that level of commitment to your healing and
commitment to the relational healing lab and the five circuits of
healing power. So I'm designing that now brainstorming creating all
these scenarios in my head of what it could be. And I'll also be
sharing details of that very, very soon. I'm so glad you stayed to
the end of this Step Closer episode. I can't tell you how
fulfilling it is to be a trauma recovery coach and guide. It has
changed my life. I am better because of all you all and it really
is the most meaningful thing I could ever imagine dedicating my
life to I love you. I'll see you until next time, Much Love from me
to you