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Relational Healing


Jun 23, 2020

#004: There's three. That's what I learned from Dr. David Delmonico, a professor that studies, teaches, and writes about sexual addictions and internet psychology. Three criteria distinguish a sexual addiction from otherwise problematic, but not diagnosable "misuse" behavior. David also explains why vulnerability is so critical to a healthy sexual connection with your partner and shares his top tips for those of us struggling to initiate honest conversations with our partner about our lived experience of our sexual relationship. He gives a super simple conversation starter, and guess what? It has to do with the Marriage is Hard podcast!

About the Show

These days, it seems like the term “pornography addiction” gets thrown around a lot. Without complete clarity about what that term actually means, it can be hard for couples to know what problem they are trying to solve if they aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on the frequency and quality of sex in their relationship. Most people think of sex as a barometer of any long-term relationship; when it is good the relationship is on track and when it isn’t the relationship is in trouble. Is that true? Let’s learn together. 

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004’s Guest

Dr. David Delmonico is Professor at Duquesne University who conducts research, consultation, and training on topics such Internet psychology, cyber-behavior, and Internet safety. He directs the Online Behavior Research and Education Center (OBREC) at Duquesne University and serves as an Associate Editor for the Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity journal. David’s parents have been married for 63 years, and he has been married for 31 years. When he’s not talking about sex, he finds joy in camping, photography, geocaching, and generally just being outdoors. 

Websites, Ideas and Resources Mentioned

David's website

David's favorite website about sexuality

Seven Desires of the Heart

Triangular Theory of Love

If you need help finding a sex therapist or additional resources, check out the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists

Thank you for being part of the Marriage is Hard community. If you're new here, you'll want to subscribe because just like today's episode on the next episode I'm having open, honest, and real conversations about life partnership that inspire and teach. Let's rock out the most important relationship we get to choose!